Homesickness, academic pressure and missing India - What can we do?
It is very natural to feel homesick immediately after leaving India as it is just a reaction to a change and environment. Most of us are on the same boat and hence I think I can understand what everyone must be going through. The immediate remedies I can think of is
1) Call parents, friends and update them on your progress and day to day happenings.
2) Get immersed in academics and research for which you have come.
3) Spend some quality time on outdoor activities, learn new stuffs and keep yourself occupied.
4) Come out of your tight knit group. Network with international students, and learn their culture.
Regarding toughness of classes, graduate courses are supposed to be tough and challenging. That is the fun part. Rather than getting intimidated, try spending more time learning the concepts. Sometimes it might not be possible to understand everything at one go, so it will require multiple iterations to understand. So give yourself ample time to do many revisions. Also try to attend all the classes, as bunking one class might leave you a few steps behind.
You will be surprised to know that people in the industry still discuss the basics on a regular basis. So please keep revisiting the basics time and again. It will help in interviews. Many a times I keep getting messages like “I have gone through the master courses, but still finding it tough”. Now the question I ask you is “I understand that you have gone through the courses but has the courses gone through you?” What I am referring here is, have you completely immersed in the subject or topics? Or is just a superficial going through? No matter how tough the concepts are, there will always be people around to guide and help.
It is important to break the big chunk of work into smaller understandable pieces. If the content of the context is not clear there will be vagueness and fear. Getting philosophical right? :) It will be, because the nature of topic is like that. It is all to do with the mindset. Not everyone gets chance to do masters. Only a few of us have got the opportunity. So rather than worrying about the money and loan part, just concentrate on the job that needs to be done. Even if you fail, there are ways to work around it and get up. So remain confident at all times. Lack of confidence and fighting spirit often lets many people down. Now let’s do an exercise. If I ask you what are the 5 greatest achievements you have done so far in your life, can you list it out or think about it now?
Okay you need to pause now and list the 5 things and only then proceed further down :)
Okay now think about how you were able to achieve this. Get yourself to this winning mindset. Feels good right? Just start your work on this note. Please do not worry about people who keep telling that getting jobs is tough (I am also a culprit who has and have said this). If getting jobs is tough how come seniors are still around, working in the industry? It is doable, if getting placed or getting into research is your goal. Just that you need to put extreme effort in some cases!!!
Let’s take an example for this job scenario, everyone is worried about. Our whole Indian culture is based on examples. Through examples, time now to entertain and enlighten.
So there was this girl, a very good friend and junior I know, who took so many tough courses. She had a good gpa and excellent projects under her belt. But still she was not able to find full time job. As every day in OPT passed, pressure was building. Most of her batch mates got placed or was at least getting calls. So we decided to get into the root of the problem.
Then my friend and I helped her with the stuff and said, “Wait and watch, in one month, you will get a job. Application packet is perfect now”. I felt the 20 minutes will make the difference and it did. On August 3rd week she calls “Anna I got a job”. Now the commendable thing is, her will to succeed despite the pressure from relatives, friends, seniors and other people telling her she was not doing it right, she never gave up. She kept applying like hell. Now use the example for your coursework also. Please keep putting full efforts. You will surely succeed. It is not impossible. The only thing is time constraint. Use it effectively.
Please observe here that we are lost in becoming and not lost in being. We are always worried about what will happen or what had happened. Let us think what is about to happen now. Also even I face a lot of pricks constantly telling that Launchpad is a bogus. It is just spoiling people and not taking them in a right path. So my question is ”Are we doing some sort of freedom movement or revolution to take everyone in right path? This is a just a forum to share ideas and help each other!” To such negative people you just say ”manufacturing defect“ and move on! You will face such people in everyday life but we march on.
The biggest problem I see is comparison between individuals. Please do not compare yourself with roommates or batch mates or seniors or anyone. You are unique and have an own style. Each one of us is a special signature of the Lord. I got one message yesterday “Anna, all my friends are getting part time job but only I am not getting. I am fully tensed”. Now the question is are you unhappy because you did not get or you unhappy because others are getting. So please retrospect. I have told a lot of times, part time job is just a source of small income. With the big picture in mind it is nothing. Academics and research play a bigger role in shaping your future. Most of are over focused on a particular subject that our focus is defocused. Zoom out and see the bigger picture. Don’t get lost in the non-essentials. Do not think about the past or worry what is going to happen. There is reason why they named the current moment as present :).
Just put a full effort for a semester and see the results. When you see the final picture, you will be so happy and convinced what you did was right. Especially think of the moment on how you will feel, when you get a full time job. :)The best way to keep yourself focused is to talk to your favorite friend or senior or any well-wisher and keep updating your progress. In that way, you have someone to hear you out. Also share your problems and see if they can give some solutions. Call me and we can discuss over phone what can be done. We can constructively brainstorm ideas. Companies in US do not pay individuals to get reasons for failure but to get commitment to get the results no matter what. Similarly the money spent by your parents should not be used for giving reasons for not performing but commitment to get the right results in spite of all obstacles. Your attitude should be “in spite of all this, what can be my solution, how do I fight this out” You will get your answer. You have come a long way because you are very good at decision making and leading your life. Trust yourself more than anyone.
A lot of things did not make sense when I was doing my masters, but when I join the dots now it makes so much of sense. The one thing I would say helped me and others are hard work and persistence. I am not smart but I am persistent. We are here to make it big and not give up. Urge yourself to come out of the comfort zones and never look back. M in masters stands for momentum and S for Success.
